In the yard, cooling off

We have been at the lake, at the pool and in the yard -- COOLING OFF! It's hot down here -- hotter than a June bride in a featherbed.

Hope you are enjoying yourselves -- wherever you may be.

Houston, we have a tooth

10 months and counting and our sweet baby Latham FINALLY has a tooth. WOOHOO!

This morning, Ellery declared that now Latham can eat whatever we eat. Well, not quite but she sure is one step closer.

Hope you have a relaxing and fun Memorial Day Weekend.

A post about pictures

Last night, I decided I needed to download the photos from my camera. I always have grand plans of downloading, organizing, labeling....it never happens.

As the pictures were downloading, I spent a few minutes taking a look at what was on my camera. And this is what I found....

I don't remember what these three were doing on this particular morning (I am assuming morning since they are still in their PJs but, believe me, I am fully aware if could have been afternoon). It looks like Vaughan and Latham are looking at something off to the side. Clearly, Ellery is pontificating about something. Whatever it is, is make me laugh.

This is a picture of an orchid we have in our living room. I look at this orchid a lot. I have spent a lot of hours the last 10 months in our living room nursing Latham. There is a comfy chair and we are just out of the way enough that she isn't easily distracted but we are still in the mix enough to not be completly isolated. And, there is a new. Just beyond this orchid is our front yard. I have seen summer come and go, the leaves change and fall off, the snow of winter (and snowboarders meandering down our street), the buds of spring and now....back to summer. I love this spot in our house and I took a picture of the window and the orchid because I want to remember those hours.

Next I stumbled across this gem. This is a photo from Easter weekend. I LOVE THIS PICTURE! I love the chaos that is captured and reality of what happens when lots of people and lots of kids get together. Things I especially like:

• The ladies in the kitchen preparing the cake (I think)


• The bottle of wine on the counter


• The kids at the table, hats on, ready to sing and eat


• Latham in the background being entertained by my cousin


• Someone standing with camera ready to the right of the photo

This was a picture I took from the girls' dress rehearsal. I tried to get Vaughan to stand up straight but she refused -- she wanted to cuddle into her big sister. So sweet!

Next up - my phone. No seriously I have never downloaded or deleted photos from my phone....I wonder what I will find?

If you don't do the work, you don't get the prize!

At first I wasn't really sure where to start this post. A lot has been happening here these last few weeks. Some good and some sort of tough. I wondered if this is the right forum to share some of those hard things? Then I thought that maybe this really is a place where I can share and focus on the positive things happening -- because to be sure there are LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS. But, I wondered, if I only share and show the good stuff does that diminish the other things? Are you following this because I think I lost myself a few sentences back.

So, I started this post and stopped. I came back to it and started it again and still I wasn't sure what to write. And, I'm still not sure.

Last week, Vaughan's class had a performance of the Little Red Hen. For days Vaughan was talking to her dolls saying, "If you don't do the work, you don't get the prize." You know, the funny thing about these children's stories...the lessons are true and they are applicable to us all.

We also had a ballet recital this week. This was Vaughan's first year taking ballet and I really didn't know what to expect. It was adorable. Is there anything cuter than 3/4 year olds on stage in ballerina costumes? I giggled so hard I had tears streaming down my face.

The girls had a blast and it made for a very entertaining hour.

We are embracing the beginning of summer - looking forward to hours at the pool, picnics, and fun with friends We have been grilling out, eating outside, and relishing in the late setting sun. I love the sweaty heads from hard play outdoors, the smell of sunscreen and the sticky popscicle covered fingers. This is what life is about.

Life is also about the hard stuff. Vaughan is so inquisitive lately - asking a lot of questions about what happens when we die. She is worried, afraid of what she has a hard time understanding. I explain gently what I believe. I explain the circle of life. I explain about faith and love and hope. And as I explain these things, I remind myself to focus on what means the most.

Ian we sure will miss you.

Reflections

Work, school play for Vaughan, home, lunch, work, swim team, lemonade stand, dinner.....bed!

It was a busy, busy day - but aren't they all? Alan had a work dinner tonight. He stopped home to help me with the kids before he met his colleagues. As he was standing at the sink doing dishes I heard him say, "Five years ago today." How had I forgotten?

Five years ago today, Alan's mother passed away. It was sudden, unexpected, a complete and total shock. What ensued were a difficult couple of months. Losing a parent is not easy. My sweet husband had already lost his father. Five years later, I realized, I had no idea how Alan felt. Did he still feel a sense of loss? Was he reflecting on the positive memories he has of his mother? Was he reliving this day five year earlier? I didn't know, so I asked.

I asked how he felt. I asked if he felt the same way on the anniversary of his father's death. And then, with a furrowed brow he had to leave for his dinner.

So, we finished up dinner. I put the baby to bed and then it was time for the big girls to go to bed. I read a story and we said our prayers. I thanked God for these little angels I am raising. I reminded myself to stop in the spinning, to stop in the madness of the day, to stop and reflect and remember and appreciate. This is what I was meant to do. These girls teach me more every day than any books I have read, than any classes I have taken. These girls teach me to laugh...at myself. These girls teach me patience. These girls teach me to use my imagination. These girls teach me to love. And I know Nana is taking it all in.

Babblings

First let me say, we are all safe here. The storms that came through two nights ago managed to go just south and just north of us and somehow we emerged unscathed. The devastation these storms caused is astounding - I can hardly continue to look at the images on the internet.

Secondly, how sweet is my husband? Family is so incredibly important to him. I certainly think that losing his parents prematurely has only heightened his awareness of how precious our time here on Earth is. I love that this priority is not lost on our children. This week, we had parent/teacher conferences with Vaughan's teachers. They noted that they had never (in their combined 40 years of teaching) seen a sibling bond like they have witnessed between Ellery and Vaughan. Forget learning letters -- to me forging these family relationships is secondary only to developing a sense of spritituality.

Easter is over, the candy coma has lifted and the school year is almost over. I think I might cry. How is my child going to be in Kindergarten next year? Oh boy, I am going to miss her not being around here all afternoon. Oh me oh my.

To make matters worse, there is a celebrity child (well actually a child of celebrities) who has been in Ellery's class for the last few months. Her mother is done filming and they have returned to California. The car pool line is a lot less exciting now that the hollywooders had left.

On the bright side, we had a fabulous Easter weekend. We had family in from Baltimore and L.A. and we had the chance to spend time with some friends whom we hadn't seen in ages.

Most importantly - Poppy celebrated a birthday. I am so incredibly grateful that I have that man for a father. I can say with absolute sincerity that I think he is the best dad. But that really deserves a post all its own. Hold me to that -- will you?

Hope you enjoy the random pics from a picnic last week!

Giving Thanks and The Power of Family (for my beautiful girls - Ellery, Vaughan, Latham and Melanie - so I hope readers will indulge me)

“Come over here, John.” my dad said as he lay in his bed at MD Anderson Cancer Center and approached his last days with us.

Of course my cousin John dutifully obeyed. Even on his last days, when cancer had taken all of his strength and left him a shell of the man he once was, Sam McKnight still had a presence. As a friend of the family once said, “Alan, your dad is like the old commercial for EF Hutton; when he talks, people listen.”

John came over to the bed, next to his Uncle Sam.

“John, you better not screw it up,” he said in the same voice that he used to provide me with “do-better” talks as a teenager.

I should probably mention that my cousin John doesn’t screw things up. Even 20 years ago, he was an accomplished lawyer and great father. He was basically everything you would hope for in a son or nephew. Nevertheless, his Uncle Sam wasn’t going to mince words.

“We haven’t worked this hard and this long for you all to screw up the partnership. I’ll be watching you from up there, so you better make it work,” he finished. So much for the hand holding and tender comments of most individual’s last days. My dad was going out on the same terms as he had lived his life by, and he wanted to make sure he got the final word before cancer took him.

I should probably back up a bit. My great-great grandparents started a ranch in Fredonia, TX in 1875. Through their hard work and fortitude, the next four generations of my family were blessed with an amazing property, i.e. the partnership, in the heart of Texas. While the property and the ranch house are great, the real benefit of the ranch is how it keeps the family together.

About a month ago, I had the the pleasure of spending the weekend with my uncles, cousins, sister, nieces and nephew to talk about the ranch. Before this family meeting, I had never heard this story about my dad. It took the family meeting for it to come out, and it was just one of the many stories and discussions that made the weekend so wonderful.

The McKnights are a special breed. To our benefit (or detriment depending on the timing), honesty and forthrightness hold the day. No subject is off limits and a meeting that is scheduled for 2 hours ends up taking 4-5 hours. The accompanying cocktail hours, lunches and dinners are epic in their length. They bring great laughter, and sometimes tears, but they are never dull. While this fact can drive of us all crazy at times, I always come away appreciative of the time spent with my family.

Through wars (Spanish-American, WWI and II, Korea...), depressions, and family arguments (too numerous to count), the family and the Ranch have stayed together. Because as my dad always told me, “blood is thicker than water, Alan. Family comes first. You may not always like them, but you always have to love them.”

So when your uncle calls your dad late one night because hard times have hit again, you watch as he immediately throws clothes in a bag and gets in the car to drive 7 hours to pick up his youngest brother. When the same uncle threatens to jump out of the car rather than getting the treatment he has needed for many years, your dad tells him, “Go right ahead, Lea, but I’m not stopping the car.” The door opens momentarily, before reality sets in for the youngest of five raised in the west Texas town of San Angelo (The same city that Melanie once remarked, as we were flying in for her first visit, “Alan, why would anyone choose to live out here?”) and the door closes.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s definitely not all serious. As my Uncle Joe (86 years old and after 55 years still teaching at SMU law school) casually mentioned at dinner over the weekend, “Alan, have you told Ellery the story of her namesake and President Lincoln?”

Not knowing if I should be excited or concerned, I said, “why no Uncle Joe, I’m not even sure what you’re talking about.”

“Well, I’m sure it’s more a statement about how little Presidents did in those days,” he quipped, “but after having voted for Lincoln in the Republican national convention, your great-great grandfather Webb asked to bring his young son down to meet the new President. The President remarkably agreed. So Moses and George Ellery Webb made the trip down to Washington from their home in New Jersey. After arriving and making a brief introduction, the President looked to the young boy, and said, how’d you like a horsey ride? And in short order, great-grandfather Webb was up on the President’s boot getting a ride!”

I must have looked astonished, as my uncle followed up with,”I can’t believe you never heard that story. It was one of Grandfather Webb’s favorites. Of course, you really must wonder what Presidents were being paid to do...”

So girls, what do all these stories and ramblings mean? It means cherish and appreciate it all, the good and the bad. Soak up all that you have and the precious time that you have with your family. Find comfort in the fact that you want to cry when you have to leave Nason, Julia, Andrew, Katie, and Mary Helen after a week together in Fredonia. Be thankful for all your uncles and aunts, the cousins, the most wonderful grandparents in the world in Gagi and PopPop, the sisters, and just maybe some day, the parents. For someone who had his dad, who was his best friend, and his mom, who devoted her life to her children, taken altogether too soon, I can only say be thankful.

For all other readers this Sunday, Happy Easter!